Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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