I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
