I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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