I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
