you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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