This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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