I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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