Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
