im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Are my feet made of real feet?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
