she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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