Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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