Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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