Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
