that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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