yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
