We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
