Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
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