once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
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