haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
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At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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