Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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