So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
