look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess