ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.