Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?