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• (440): View more from Ohio

  oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back

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• (707): View more from California

  get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  im here for your entertainment

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  19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time

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• (212): View more from New York

  the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with

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• (209): View more from California

  We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.

  (1-209): View more from California

  Duh.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  How do you feel?

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.

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• (619): View more from California

  I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Was I asleep on the ride home?

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.

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• 

  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.

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