Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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