i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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