I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
