he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
