So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
