Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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