i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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