I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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