Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
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