I want you more than these girls want KFC
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
