Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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