just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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