STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
