Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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