Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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