last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
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It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
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Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize