i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
