I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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