Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!