Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My ass is underappreciated
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?