we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Randomize
