Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  You shut your mouth

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  (313): I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy (1-313): You shut your mouth http://tfl.nu/xp5b
  Replies (34) Good night (1574) Bad night (783)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.

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  (646): I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister. http://tfl.nu/fqyo
  Replies (26) Good night (9196) Bad night (1348)
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  (858): View more from California

  I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.

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  (858): I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star. http://tfl.nu/5mxp
  Replies (67) Good night (4002) Bad night (2319)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!

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  (970): What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk (1-970): That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at! http://tfl.nu/fm55
  Replies (80) Good night (1148) Bad night (3875)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.

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  (703): the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week. http://tfl.nu/6di3
  Replies (17) Good night (4174) Bad night (1145)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop

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  (720): I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop http://tfl.nu/llg8
  Replies (36) Good night (5921) Bad night (1792)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.

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  (254): Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me. http://tfl.nu/nie2
  Replies (9) Good night (3935) Bad night (1005)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.

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  (443): I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face. http://tfl.nu/jlmy
  Replies (6) Good night (3778) Bad night (983)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong

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  (484): i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong http://tfl.nu/1mot
  Replies (21) Good night (1418) Bad night (3969)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me

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  (616): im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me http://tfl.nu/gxh6
  Replies (5) Good night (828) Bad night (2860)
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  (420): View more from

  The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome

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  (420): The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome http://tfl.nu/b0jj
  Replies (16) Good night (3728) Bad night (915)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house

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  (410): I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house http://tfl.nu/84we
  Replies (5) Good night (1783) Bad night (835)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think

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  (613): She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think http://tfl.nu/7fbd
  Replies (21) Good night (917) Bad night (1995)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...

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  (215): five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ... http://tfl.nu/nz34
  Replies (5) Good night (1239) Bad night (441)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?

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  (509): In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married? http://tfl.nu/eg0w
  Replies (6) Good night (645) Bad night (684)

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