Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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