I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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