Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
