I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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