Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
