If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
