the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize