Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
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He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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