All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize