This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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