I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize