Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
