I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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