Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
