FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
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I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
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Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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