i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize