youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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