Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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