u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
