these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize