I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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