I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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