I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
