I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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