where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
